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jokes about writers

10 Writing Jokes Writers Will Appreciate

I like good bad jokes, or perhaps bad good jokes, about writing and grammar. There are many floating around out there, but here are my favorites – the ones I keep in my pocket for a good audience groan.

1. Writing rule.
Remember, double negatives are a no, no.

 

2. Two guys in a bar.
Two guys meet in a bar. No 1 says to No. 2, “So what do you do for a living?”

“I’m a brain surgeon,” says No. 2. “What do you do?”

“I’m a writer,” says No. 1.

“Oh,” says the brain surgeon. “When I retire, I want to be a writer.”

“That’s interesting,” says the writer. “When I retire, I want to be a brain surgeon.”

 

3. What kind of word would you invite to a fancy tea party?
A proper noun.

 

4. Pick-up line.
I’d like to both compliment you and complement you. Aren’t you impressed I know the difference?

 

5. Why do bikes fall down?
Because they are two tired.

 

6. Bar joke.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

 

7. Calvin’s Writer’s block.

 

8. Writing rule.
Only one writer in a million can use a hyperbole correctly.

 

9. Writing rule.
Avoid clichés like the plague.

 

10. What do you say to a semicolon that tries to pick a fight in a bar?
You’ll need more guts than that.

 

Still with me? If so, please share your own favorite jokes in the comment section!